READ THIS BEFORE READING ANYTHING ELSE: this character is a joke character and should not be taken seriously by any means. this page has some "not that acceptible stuff" so watch out for that. also the grammatic mistakes are intentional so please don't try to "fix them".
Backstort[]
- chapter 1: escaping the underground
our tale begins in the universe known as "Undertable", one day sans was very very bored so he decided to watch some tv but when he opened tv he saw that they were broadcasting a chips ahoy ad so he instantly got terminal 7 cancer. sans was very sad because he got cancer and also because he went broke from gambling on pro wrestling so he decided to do the only thing that made any sense... he opened up a meth lab with his brother papyrus- sorry, i meant jesse and started to sell illegal shit to 10 year olds, meanwhile undyne and alphys were not happy with this, because they are like cops or some shit idfk. so undyne and alphys started to reaserch and they discovered sans' greatest weakness: cringe. undyne and alphys tried to create the most cringe thing they could ever think of to take down sans operation of child exploitation but sans was one step ahead of them... sans had a spy in undynes forces and that spy was alphys, you see sans had hot sex with alphys like 2 days ago and now he was blackmailing her to tell him undyne's plan and make him a machine that would teleport them out of the undergound. alphys didnt have enough materials to build this so she used like freaking cereal boxes to build it. after it was built sans and papyrus- sorry i meant jesse peaced the fuck out of the underground.(if you are wondering why alphys didnt built this machine sooner the answer is idk, i guess she was busy watching anime or some shit.)
- chapter 2: evil papyrus gets born
wehn sands and jesse got out of the underground they decided to do a little trolling by blowing up 13 orphanages and commiting war crimes against serbia, unfortunately people didnt like this so sans and pap- sorry i meant jesse decided to say "its just a prank bro" and because they said this all was forgiven. but even if people forgave them for multiple acts of murder most people were still pretty racist against skeleton people and this made sands very sad so he made a plan to be respected by humanity, he ordered his brother papyrus- sorry i meant jesse to go to the nearest convienience store and cut off the store owners balls because he thought that he would be more respected when he had bigger balls. but when pa- sorry i meant jesse arrived at the store he had forgotten what he was supposed to be getting. he remembered that it had something to do with cutting off balls but he couldnt remember the rest, but after some thinking he remembered that the earth was a ball and he should murder everyone on earth! "surely that was what sans wanted.." said jesse, "i mean what else could something that has something to do with balls and cutting have to do with anything but planetary genocide?". after thinking this papyru- sorry i meant jesse made and evil lair and started plotting his evil plan to destroy the world. while papyrus was doing some stuff, sans was playing halo 3 with markiplier and he was having a lot of fun mentally ruining peoples lives with a popular lets-player. but it is when mark revealed to him that he had bitches when things got complicated, at that point sands knew that he had to get as many bitches as possible... but before we get into that i just want to thank todays sponsor, raid shadow leg-
- chapter 3: undyne strikes back
while all of this undyne was very angry because she found out about how alphys and sans had hot seggs, this made her very mad because she wanted to be the one who had hot sex with alphys, with this new anger that came from her shattered dream of hot lesbian sex, she stuid the ways of cringe and she did it... she created... A MINION... but she didnt stop there, she created an entire army of minions! surely sans couldnt survive all of this cringe... right??? after that she used alphys' cereal box machine to go to the surface but because how the surface was huge it was going to be a real challange to find sands undertable... and while undyne was trying to avenge her dreams of sex, sans was sending blue lobster videos to random people on reddit because why tf not. he was very sad that papyrus- sorry i meant jesse had abondoned him so he decided to go get some help from a good friend of his: jinx the cat. jinx the cat was also in a pretty bad state cuz her friend thurston waffles died (rip waffles btw) so sans and jinx hanged out toghether and they managed to increase morale and testosterone and while sans was having fun with his friend papyrus- sorry i meant jesse was plotting his scheme, he had created a weapon so powerful that it would surely destoy the world but to make sure it worked he killed god first. after that he was ready to destroy the world... and sands met a very fine looking chick called ada(godessa) on the street and they started to date but sands realised that he had become what he hated... a simp so he decided to do the only reasonable thing... he brought ada a bunch of flowers that had 7 pipebombs attached to them but when he entered adas room, he saw that ada and his worst enemy: undyne were having lesbian sex. undyne seeing sans she decided to summon her army oof cringe... but she wasnt counting on 1 thing... sand's had become more durible to cringe... on the surface sans had seen things like twitter, tumblr and even xbox voice messages... he had seen way too much cringe for some minions to take her down now... undyne was defeated and she went back into the underground in defeat... she felt like she was full of despair.. but... she fount a strange note that she hadnt seen before on her bed... this note read: "hello undyne... i know what you want... its cringe you seek eh? well i know the most cringe thing ever... its called: Gacha Life . have fun with this information... signed by: papyrus- i mean jesse."
- chapter 4: the battle is about to commence
sands was very upset in ada so he tried to get divorced with her. he hired saul goodman as his lawyer. ada tried to explain how sans tried to blow her up by hiding pipebombs in her flowers but saul goodman typed: 🤓🤓🤓 in chat and ada lost the case, sans decided that bitches were for losers and he decided to get some beer instead, he went to a store and robbed it for some beer but accidently killed uncle ben while doing so, still he was happy that he got some beer. sans was feeling very strange, he felt like something big and bad was coming... and thats because something bad was coming... undyne had created it... she had created Gacha life... she went back up to surface and decided to take sans head on with this cringe... and sands was losing, "h-how can something be this cringe!?!" he thought. and just as he was about to lose something strange happened... papyrus's(sorry i meant jesse's) ultimate weapon was here and it was ready. "you have fallen right into my trap undyne..." jesse said, "with your cringe i can finally activate my strongest weapon..." pa- sorry, jesse's bones grew larger and he turned into... SENATOR ARMSTRONG, using this power papyrus quickly destroyed the gacha life that undyne had created, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!" undyne said, papy- sorry i meant jesse replied with "because sands said i should1!1!!". "but i didnt tell you to do that..." sans said "i only told you to cut off the shopkeepers balls..." after hearing this papyrus- sorry i meant jesse realised his mistakes and he joined sans' side to take down undyne. but the fight was not over yet a few other people started to join the fight...
- SPIDERMAN: "hey that skeleton killed my uncle!"
- JESUS: "that jesse one killed my father!"
- ADA: "Sans you left me!"
- KOAVIRE: "
Papyrus- i mean Jesse, you fucked my wife!" - RANDOM HEAVY ON TF2: "YOU UBERED A ENGINEER INSTEAD OF ME SANS!!!"
- UNITED STATES PRESIDENT: "Jesse, you crashed a plane into my 2 towers!"
things were looking bad for sands and papy- i mean jesse but some people decided to join their side:
- MARKIPLIER: "hey sans, playing halo with you was fun!"
- SATAN: "papyrus thank you for killing god, that guy is really annoying."
- SAUL GOODMAN: "hey sans, that trial went pretty good huh?"
- AYABA: "hey jesse, wanna have some fun??"
- RANDOM ENGINEER ON TF2: "yo sans nice to see ya."
this was it... the greatest battle in history was just about to commence... people were eating popcorn as they watched this epic battle start...
- chapter 5: the final battle
as the battle started spiderman tried to freeze sans in place by throwing webs to his feet but sans escaped... jesse was trying to deal with adas bulshit while saul goodman was finding a way to sue jesus for breathing, satan was battling with the president of the USA, even if satan was the ruler of hell, the president used an experimental gun he got from ohio to kill him permenantly. the random engi built a sentry that did some damage to ada who was fighting markiplier at the time, this allowed mark to take her down and kill her. but the random heavy appeared infront of mark and mark almost died but sands saved him... "no! you cant die this way!" said sans trying to cover bullet wounds in marks chest... "sorry..." said mark, "but death comes to all... here take this..." he said, handing over his steam account "this will help you complete the fight no matter what..." aand sadly that was marks final words. sans was pissed, i dont mean like angry pissed, i mean like your mom broke your xbox pissed. he firstly used advanced speedrun glitches to backwards longjump behing the random heavy and backstabbed him like a spy afterwards he quickly charged into jesus who was just about to kill ayaba and noclipped him into the backrooms, getting them sometime before he managed to get out of there. while all this was happening ayaba and koavire were having a really boring argument instead of solving problems the civilized way: with violence. spiderman was swinging around to find an easy target, and he spotted the random engi, spiderman flew into action and punched the random engi into a web that he got stuck in but his sentry gun was still active and took out spiderman before he got away, the random engi tried to call for help but undyne got to him before the others. sadly the random engi was also killed. while that was happening the US president was also causing chaos, shooting at sans and pap- i mean jesse from a distence. but after saul informed him that he was gonna get sued for farting 12 years ago in his own private room, the US president decided to jump off a cliff. while this was happening koavire and ayaba were still having a really boring argument about "love" or some shit. anyways undyne, sans and pa- sorry i meant jesse agreed that koavire and ayaba were boring af so they decided to stop the battle, kill ayaba and koavire toghether and then continue the battle. but all of this was enough time for jesus to figure out how to get out of the backrooms... he was sick of this bs so went all ultrakill mode and started to throw coins into the air. and sadly this coin hit saul goodman, sadly ending his life... it was just sands and papyrus- sorry i meant jesse against undyne and jesus. and well... sans and jesse didnt have enough power to do any damage to jesus... but wait... whats that..?
JINX THE CAT: "Sorry im a bit late sans!" jinx the cat suprised attacked jesus from the sky. JESUS: "finally a worthy opponent, our battle will be legendery!" jesus tried to use sun beams to kill jinx but it jinx dodged the beams with ease, afterwards jinx threw a demon core to jesus which exploded and weakened jesus. "YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME!" Jesus said, "I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE!" but jinx knew something that not god, or anime could defeat: a gun. so jinx just shot jesus in the face. Sans, Jesse and Jinx surrounded undyne, "you know the rules..." said sans, "...and so do we..." said p- jesse, "...say goodbye." said jinx. the trio combined all of their powers to create a extremely strong magical punch that sent undyne straight to brazil. the battle was over, sans and jesse were victorious!
- chapter 6: ending
all the bloodshed had finally stopped. and the trio looked at eachother and gave a deep sigh, they wanted to celebrate at the best bar in town: moe's they were really happy (in jesse's case high) but still... was it all worth it..? killing millions of people for this moment..? of course it was worth it! who wouldn't want to hang out in a bar with his brother and best friend? nobody, thats who.
well thats about it for the backstory, lets continue on with the profile.
Profile[]
- Personality:
Alright i have no idea what his personality is. İ mean this guy is so fucking chaotic that i have no clue what to put here. İm the creator of this character and i have no clue wtf is going on with this wiki page, just writing this is giving me a seizure. İ guess the personality is unpredictable and chaotic? İm not sure.
- Appearance:
sans is fat, short and pretty depressing looking. so he pretty much looks exactly like your mo-
abilities and powers and...whatever the shit...[]
Time to talk about generic sands’s PowerS and stuff…
- xbox live trashtalk: generic opee sands can use the ultimate power of trashtalking to destroy the phycological stability of anyone, he can use insults that make racial slurs look like compliments, this power can make the happiest, egoistic and most powerful people completely depressed. His toxicity is so unbelievebly powerful that it can poison and kill other gods just by trashtalking. The toxicness is at such an extreme leVel that it makes chernobyl look like an absolute joke. Even league of legends and cod players are afraid of his toxic powers.
- Metal pipe: sands can drop metal pipes. This might seem harmless at first but the sound that the pipes create when they fall on the ground can exblode peoples ears, in fact the sound is so loud that beings in different omniverses can hear it. the sound is so loud that deaf people complain about how loud it is. Themassive sonic blasts that the pipes relese can shred multiverses into bits.
- Bone dust manuplation: generic sans can use the crushed bones of his enemies to… make trees… this might seem like a useless power but this gives him complete control over all plants making him more unstoppable. He can use these powers to grow watermelon seeds in peoples stomachs into watermelons instantly making him capable of making people explode from the inside out.
- Argument invalidator: sands is a master of arguments and when someone tries to argue with him this power is what they face. The argument invalidator power makes any argument generic op sands faces completely invalid, allowing him to win every argument ever. This power is also why many twitter users call him “the argumental knight”.
- Powerforce dunking: if anyone at any point becomes more powerful than sands, sands will track them down and find them after doing so they will challange their opponent to a deathmatch… no wait im sorry a basketball match, when in the match sands will intentionally play badly until when his opponent feels too confident he dunks on him, causing all of his opponents powers to go away and sands to become the stronkest and opest once again…
- Lovecraftian Hentai tentacles: generic sans can summon purplish OP tentacles. These tentacles are extrememly powerful having enough power to trillions of godverses all all at once. However generc op sands dislikes using this power because hes racist against cephalopods. He only uses this ability to scratch his back.
- The crucible: sands has the crucible. Thats all there is to it, i just woke up one moring and said: “hey what if this guy had the crucible? You know from doom? That would be pretty cool.” And so here we are.
- sonic shockwaves: these shockwaves are less powerful than the pipe shockwaves but sands can make these much more rapidly. These shockwaves happen after sans claps his asscheecks, the sheer gurth of those cheecks are really that powerful and can be used rapidly to make exteremly large sonic waves.
- Flaming ice: sands is extrememly hot and extremely cool. He is so hot and cool in fact that he freezes people because of his coolness but sets them on fire because of his hotness, causing people to be frozen and burning at the same time.
- “Nuh-uh”: this ability allows generic sands to nullify everything by simply saying “nuh-uh”. This nullifies every ability, every attack, every defence everything that exists can be nullified by this attack.
- 0nline bullying: generic op sands can bully authors to the point they commit suicide, this makes sands as powerful as authors… in all seriousness what in the shit is this ability? İ mean 0nline bullying? İm out of ideas dude, heck most of these abilities arent my ideas. What the hell am i doing with my life man…
Gallery[]
